Dating apps can be cool, but at some point, the constant swiping and ghosting can feel frustrating. You want to find someone, but when half of your matches don’t bother responding while the other half feel like forced conversations, it just doesn’t cut it anymore.
That is where speed dating events come in. They give you a chance to connect with other people and have in-person conversations. But if you’re new to this, you might feel more nervous than excited. What do you say? How do you stand out?
Let’s help you with some tips for relaxing and socialising.
Don’t Treat It Like an Interview
The corporate speak has a way of seeping into our daily conversations. But speed dating isn’t about your university degree, your job title, or how “passionate” you are. People are here to connect, not recruit.
When you’re interacting with other singles, ask about their favourite meal or the weirdest dream they’ve ever had. Make it fun and memorable, not a boring interview that starts with “What do you do?” and ends with regret.
If you’re in Boston, look for speed dating Boston events to find like-minded people.
Don’t Overthink the First Impressions
Yes, first impressions matter, but they’re not everything. The idea that your “first impressions are your last impressions” isn’t true either. People change, and so do their views. And focusing more on creating a good first impression might only make things worse.
You have around five minutes or less, so don’t waste them panicking about whether your laugh was too loud. Be present, be curious, and be kind. People remember how you made them feel, not how perfectly you delivered your speech.
Read the Room
Some people warm up quickly, while others take some time. If someone seems a little stiff, ask a light question instead of launching into a monologue. If they’re chatty, lean into it and match their energy.
Good conversation requires being a good listener and observer. You don’t have to be a mind reader, but be present enough to understand what the other person wants. Don’t force anything, either on them or on yourself.
Prepare a Few Conversation Starters
Don’t go for the overused, cliché pickup lines. Having a few go-to questions that sound genuinely curious and not too personal can help if your mind goes blank during a conversation.
Think of fun and open-ended questions like “What’s a place you would love to visit but haven’t yet?” or “If your week had a theme song, what would it be?” These are not just quirky questions, but can actually give you a glimpse into someone’s personality or mindset without directly asking about it.
Be Honest and Real
It’s okay to say you’re nervous or new to speed dating. Vulnerability, when done right, is endearing and even attractive. Trying to seem cool and calm when you’re spiralling, on the other hand, can make your conversations awkward and your body language stiff.
Just don’t turn your short chats into a therapy session. Be honest but keep it light.
